You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
