dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
