people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
