your room smells of hookers.
And success
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
