need another drink. this is the easiest way
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
