OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
