I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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