I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
