We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
