Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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