Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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