i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize