the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
