marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Enjoy the penises
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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