They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
