so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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