It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
