Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
