Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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