no, he came in my armpit
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
