shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
