I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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