I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
