is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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