my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
