Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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