i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so let's talk penis.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
