Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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