Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
