Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
