I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
