Porn is love you can see.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
