Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
