i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So vagazzling was a success
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
