and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
