I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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