Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
