You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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