Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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