I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
