My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
