there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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