I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
