had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
