So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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