Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
