and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
