Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
