i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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