Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
