The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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