Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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