How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
