I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
