Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Jerry, you need to find god
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
