'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
