At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
