yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
His nipple licking is glorious
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
