Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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