He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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