On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
