David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
