Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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